But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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