So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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