You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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