I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
