i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
time to smoke my breakfast
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
