i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
