Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
