ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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