Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
