my soul wont recognize me after tonight
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
my poor anus
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
