As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
