anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
