i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
