so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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