I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
