Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
