I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
