What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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