Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
