Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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