I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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