so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
