he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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