did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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