We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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