Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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