i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
