I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
