I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
