he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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