how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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