absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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