that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
