Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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