oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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