I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
