Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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