Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I fill condoms, not promises.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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