she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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