C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize