my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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