i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
