Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
