Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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