and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
