I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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