the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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