Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
