Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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