You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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