hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
