Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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