You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
