even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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