I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
