She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
God, I missed his penis.
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