Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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