do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
