we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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