I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
