i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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